Halloween Treats

Originally posted October 30, 2004 this piece for me captures the Halloween I grew up with so different from the one my kids celebrate today.

I love autumn. Here in Southern California it signals the beginning of the Santa Ana’s a warm sometimes dangerous wind that blows across the desert and down through the canyons. I love the smell of the air, I love the crisp cool nights and most especially I love the changing leaves as cycle through their green, red and orange color scheme.

As a kid, like most of us, here in the states especially I loved Halloween. Letting your childish imagination run wild one night out of the year. Picking a costume that either reflected what was popular or how creative you could be.

That is one area in which I feel sorry for the kids of today. It seems that costume manufacturers have sucked most of the creativity out of the holiday. Where in my youth the streets would be filled with a dazzling array of homemade costumes, today it seems that nine out of ten kids arrive wearing a pre-manufactured character of the moment. Never knowing the joy and excitement one can feel when their own costume idea comes to life before their eyes as they prepare for weeks in anticipation of the big day.

Back in the day the treats were also a lot more plentiful. Before candy makers discovered the profitability in making bite size bars houses used to hand out full sized Milky Way’s and Hershey Chocolate Bars. It was a chocolate lovers paradise. Now days most kids come home with a bag of candy bits or pieces of gum nothing like the treasure troves I remember.

Best of all was being able to walk the streets for hours combing the neighborhoods far and wide searching for that special Halloween treat. If we were lucky there would be a warm Santa Ana wind blowing, maybe a few clouds in the sky and a beautiful full moon lighting the pathways we followed on our big adventure.

Being Catholic there was the added benefit of November 1st being a school holiday. Though All Saints Day is a holy day of obligation to us kids it meant an hour of church and a whole day free to dive into our Halloween Treats.

Wind, Rewind

Today here in Southern California we had high winds for the first time in a while. In fact they are still blowing as I write this. It reminded me of a wind storm from the past......

It was 1980. I had just received a phone call from a complete stranger telling me that my father, whom I had not seen for years, had passed away. When my mom and siblings got home I shared the news which was met by complete indifference.

Outside the wind was ripping through the trees. Tossing lawn furniture and garbage cans alike around like rag dolls. A perfect representation of the turmoil I was feeling inside. Shock, despair, numbness, sorrow and indifference all fighting for attention.

Just when I thought the surprises for the night had ended, the power went out and you would have thought it made everyone stupid. My mom was frustrated by the electric can opener until it dawned on her that it was electric. My sister was frustrated by the blow dryer until she reached the same reality.

Me I was just frustrated.

I left the house climbing the hill in our backyard.

The wind tore through  me as I cried for a man I never really knew, ripping away my tears and scattering them across the valley......

Seasonal Irony

A bank window with the grim reaper collecting the soul of his next victim.......

Slow Speed Chase

Still chasing that truck from the previous post. Upper respiratory infection. Lower respiratory infection. Sideways respiratory infection. You name it the respiratory is infected. Antibiotics for the infection. Steroids for the inflammation. Xanex for the ever present anxiety multiplied by judicious use of said steroids. Which affects breathing which requires the use of steroids which causes anxiety. Can we see a pattern forming?

Damaged (10-20-2005)

To satisfy my curiosity as to what I was posting years ago and to also give a sampling of the past to any new readers who may accidentally stumble across my mutterings I will periodically travel through time and bring something from the archives to share once again.

Damaged was first posted in October 2005.

a soul of
fragile porcelain
uncomfortably
wrapped in delicate
human skin
burning
with untamed
hunger
searching
half formed memories
of a more
perfect world
spiritual
darkness free
jealous free
anger free
drug induced
memories of
life before life
understanding
fails when
evolutions
ultimate quest
becomes
perfection
which in turn
leads to
stagnation
which leads
to extinction
of that
which claims
perfection
sowing
the seeds
for evolutions
journey
to begin
again
an endless quest
for understanding
a burning desire
to know
what is beyond
the next
galaxy

Follow That Truck.....

I feel as if I was run over by a truck, kicked in the head by a mule, mauled by a rabid coyote and p*****d on by a syphilitic skunk. And this is a good day.

All my respiratory symptoms and anxiety symptoms have hit at the same time. It is as if a 6.5 Earthquake and a Tornado have hit my body leaving behind one quivering survivor.

I need the inhaler for the lack of breathing ability but at the same time the steroids in said inhaler are sending my anxiety levels off the scale. I really do not know if I am coming or going.

Despite the years of illness it feels as if I have never felt so tight and anxious.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Winter, Fall, Gone?

Anybody who lives outside of California will most likely toss virtual raspberries my way but it cannot be helped the weather news must be reported.

I know in other parts of the world there are those asking global warming? What the heck is global warming?

Here in California it is another story. At the beginning of the week it was cold, damp and rainy. The first measurable rain in more than six months. The streets were wet and long pants were dug out of the closet.

Today just a few days later and it was ninety five degrees. The shorts were back out and the jeans were naught but a memory.

Either global warming is affecting just So Ca or our weather has developed more multiple personalities than we are used.

Personally I am going with the latter I mean So Ca is a very strange place why should the weather be exempt.