Directionless

Once upon a time I had a friend who was born with no innate sense of direction whatsoever. He was one of those individuals who could get lost in the bathroom while moving from the sink to the shower.

On one occasion we drove to Magic Mountain on a Friday night just for the hell of it. For those outside of LA MM is about thirty miles north of downtown. To our dismay when we arrived we found that they were not open and we had made the drive for nothing.

Not wanting to waste the night we decided to drive fifty miles south of MM to Knots Berry Farm. Easy run straight down the 5 Freeway. No turns, no interchanges, a piece of cake for anyone but him.

I have never been a good passenger so I tend to take naps to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes and when I opened them we were circling the parking lot of Dodger stadium. Since the boys in blue were on the road the place was deserted and first my bleary eyes were unable to process what I was seeing.

Looking around and gathering my bearings I turned to him and asked what we were doing at Chavez Ravine. He gave me a dumbfounded look and slowly shook his head. Bottom line was he had no idea how he ended up there. He swore he was on the 5 freeway and than in the parking lot. No transition. Which is of course impossible.

We made it back to the freeway and needless to say I did not close my eyes for the rest of the drive.

Another occasion that stand out in my mind just happens to involve another trip to Magic Mountain. This time we were double dating and our dates lived in North Hollywood, which is even closer to MM than downtown LA.

After a long, tiring day spent at the park we were driving back to NH. It was 1:30 in the morning and we were all bleary eyed. He was driving again and had a Big Gulp by his side to keep him awake.

Everyone else dozed on and off while he was driving. I was awake enough to direct him to the correct freeways and I must have dozed off no more than ten minutes from our date’s neighborhood. When I next opened my eyes we were fifteen minutes past their exit driving through the darkness of Griffith Park.

Again when questioned he had no idea how we got to Griffith Park. I kept my eyes open for the rest of the drive as I directed him back to their house.