Wedding Traditions

For the most part with this journal I have avoided politics. Discussing hotbed issues can be a no win situation for someone such as myself who has spent the past six months writing about my life experiences and creating various types of fiction and poetry. That being said with this piece I am going to dip my big toe into the waters of controversy not necessarily by voicing a hard formed opinion but providing some background material concerning the origins of some of societies wedding traditions. The following is not intended to be an end all discussion of traditions but more of a brief peek behind the curtain so maybe we can understand why we do what we do and also understand that marriage like most of our customs has continued to evolve over the centuries.

Best Men: Once mankind began to settle into villages and towns there would often times be a shortage of brides in a particular settlement. The "groom" and his "best man" would often visit a neighboring community with the intention of stealing a "bride". Once the happy couple returned to the "grooms" village the wedding would take place almost immediately. The "best man" or "men" would stand to the grooms right facing entrance of the church. This position allowed them to watch the grooms back in case the "brides" father attempted to interrupt the ceremony.

Bride and Grooms Position: The "bride" would stand to the left of the "groom" to keep his sword hand free. If trouble developed he could keep the "bride" behind him with his left hand while removing his sword with his right.

On a side note: because there was always a chance that the wedding ceremony would turn into a battle often times church alters had an arsenal of hand held weapons hidden beneath them.

Carrying the "Bride" over the Threshold: There are at least two version of the origin of this tradition. Version one states that the "bride" was carried over the threshold because of her position as a captive not a willing "bride". Version two holds that the tradition of carrying the bride over the threshold began because of a superstition that evil spirits would enter the couple's new home through the soles of the bride's feet. It has also been said that the carrying over the threshold was to prevent the bride from stepping left foot first into her new home which also would lead to bad luck.

Wedding Banns: Charlemagne who in AD 800 became the Holy Roman Empire is said to have originated the practice of publishing wedding banns. In the 8th century record keeping left a lot to be desired. Especially when it came to recording births and tracking the lineage of each child, since not every child's parentage was clear and because the amount of extramarital affairs that were happening it was not uncommon for half brothers and sisters to marry without realizing their relationship. To this end Charlemagne made it law through out his empire that a marriage must be announce at least a week before the actual event to allow for anyone who knew of a reason why the couple should not marry to come forth.

Groom not seeing the Bride: The tradition of it being bad luck for the groom to see the bride on their wedding day came about due to the wide spread existence of arranged marriages. To often it would happen that a groom who had never met the bride would see her before the wedding and not finding himself attracted to her would fail to appear for the ceremony. So the fathers of the bride forbade the prospective groom to see her until they met on the alter.

Throwing of the Garter and Bridal Bouquet: The wedding night was a huge party and at some point in the evening male attendants would help the bride and groom to undress. With the men fighting over the garter with the winner wearing it on his hat. Once the happy couple were undressed they would sit on the bed and the wedding party would throw stockings on at them. The person who was lucky enough to land a stocking on the happy couple would be the next to wed.

Throwing Shoes: In the past shoes were thrown at the bride to ensure a bounty of children. In many cultures feet were considered a powerful phallic symbol and throwing shoes was preferred over the throwing of wheat or rice.

Wedding Cake: Originally the wedding cake was nothing but a bit of wheat bread that was thrown at the bride to guarantee her fertility. The Romans began to bake small, rather sweet wheat cakes that were meant to be eaten. The guests however did not want to abandon tradition so rather than eat the cakes they threw them at the bride. Eventually the custom evolved to where the cake was crumbled over the couple's head and than they would eat some of the crumbs again to guarantee fertility. Our modern wedding cake evolved from the English tradition of stacking small biscuits and other baked goods. The higher the stack the more good fortune for the couple. Tradition says that a French chef while visiting London in the 1660's was shocked at the half-hazard way the baked goods were stacked. In response to what he had witnessed he developed the idea of a multi-tiered wedding cake rather than a half-hazard stack of baked goods.

Horn Honking and Wedding Bells: Our ancestors believed that loud noises would keep evil spirits away from the wedding. This evolved into wedding bells being rung at the church and later to horn honking when the wedding party leaves the church.

Honeymoon: One of the original reasons for a honeymoon goes back in time to the stealing of the bride. Once the wedding was complete the couple would disappear for a month or until the "brides" father stopped searching for her. When the couple returned the "bride" was usually pregnant and her family would than accept the marriage. The honey in honeymoon comes from the honeyed mead that was drunk at the reception. And of course as seen above the moon in honeymoon comes from the cycle of the moon that the couple would be away.

There are many other tradition both in the west and around the world. My reasoning for listing a few of them here is not to necessarily change someone's definition of marriage but just to point out that marriage like any other tradition that we celebrate has evolved and will continue to evolve regardless of what legal arguments we are having today.