Thursday, June 24, 2004

Rainbow

She stood at the foot of disaster. Dancing with the devil until her soul ached from the strain of resistance. Her arms were bruised from the doublewide track of needle marks which served has her red badge of courage. The tattered bag clutched between her skeleton like fingers protected the tattered pages of her faith. A bible on whose pages she had made and broken many midnight promises to walk away from her life as a junkie. However the song of liquid fire was not easy to ignore and for every day clean there were months best forgotten.

Home was the ground between two shopping carts, which served has support for her cardboard roof. Old newspapers replaced the blankets she had grown up with; her pillow was the concrete of her bed.

Sleep did not come easy especially when she did not know where her next fix would come from. Distraction from her addiction came in the form of ghost's remnants of her former life.

Once upon a time she had been living a happy middle class life a living breathing cliché. A house in the suburbs, a mini-van and a Honda Prelude, two kids, a dog and a cat. She had married her high school sweetheart who had become a high priced lawyer before her eyes. Her life was everything she had always thought she wanted except for the profound emptiness.

Until one evening at a fancy cocktail party one of the other wives had offered her a needle with the promise that the contents of the syringe would fill the void that had once been filled by a dream.

Without preamble she found herself addicted. Her husband put her in rehab where she temporarily kicked the habit. She stayed clean for a month but fell off the wagon when she stumbled across some drugs that her husband had missed. One more time through the rehab ringer found her back on the street trying to score even before her release papers were dry.

Her husband had found her curled up in a fetal position oblivious to the world on a street corner downtown. He did not send her to rehab again instead he served her with divorce papers. From there the downward spiral spun out of control. Nothing mattered but the next high, not her old life, not her kids, nothing but the feeling of sweet release.

Barely a year later she had one foot in the grave and with a certainty she had rarely known she knew that the other foot would soon follow if she did not find the strength to fight. The strength she had left was fragile. For several months now she had fought with everything she had to hold onto a small shred of her dignity. Unlike most of the other alley residents she had refused to use her body to get by. She suffered through withdrawals until she managed to collect enough cans and bottles to satisfy her cravings the old fashioned way with cash.

Today found her in a dank dark alley patiently waiting in line with other junkies as the dealer moved down the line collecting money and injecting his customers. She held out her arm and sighed with sweet relief as the warmth coursed through her veins. She stumbled through the alley in search of some privacy where she could enjoy her dance with the devil.

Dawn found her barely clinging to life on the steps of an abandoned building propped up against one of the doors. Through blurry eyes she saw a rainbow and found comfort in its simple beauty. Freedom came to her at last as her body gave up the fight and her spirit soared toward the morning sun.

A sign on the door above her final resting place read: "Rainbow Connection Drug Rehab Center has been closed due to a lack of funding."

1 comment:

agui said...

I will definitely come back.