What Was I Thinking

In 1986 I was working for the real estate loan center of a large bank. I was the manager of the Records Department and I had a staff of fifteen full time employees and roughly thirty temps at anyone time.

One of my employees was somewhat of a special project who had come to work for me in 1982. His name was Bob and he came to work for me from a center that specialized in placing individuals with learning disabilities in the work force. One of their representatives presented their program to the bank and as it turned out I was the only manager willing to give Bob a chance.

He was thirty-six years old and he had never lived away from his parent's home nor had he ever had a real job. Bob was eager to learn and enthusiastic about his opportunity. While training him was not easy the position did not exactly involve rocket science so eventually he was able to meet the minimum requirements for the job.

His social skills on the other hand were a different story entirely. Bob tended to invade the personal space of the person he was talking to, which of course made a lot of the employees uncomfortable. He would also ask every female he came into contact with out to lunch or to the movies. The answer was always no but he was never discouraged he just kept asking assuming that someone someday would say yes.

My employees tended to look upon Bob as a mascot and everyone tended to look out for him. Whenever possible they steered away from trouble and from the other managers who did not understand him. While Bob did have his problems he was always fun to be around. He was quick with a joke and he knew more about the movies than most Hollywood historians. He was a walking cinema encyclopedia.

Bob's birthday was in March and in 1986 he was going to celebrate his fortieth year. My employees and I got together to plan something special for him. Ideas journeyed around the table but most were impractical because our office was not in a central location and most of the staff had long commutes and were not interested in any kind of after hours get together. Someone mentioned having a potluck luncheon and jokingly added that we should get Bob a stripper for dessert. Everyone had a good laugh but somehow as the discussion progressed the stripper idea became a serious suggestion. Before I gave it much thought my phone was in my hand and I was calling my boss for approval.

What was I thinking? Much to my surprise my boss went for the stripper idea and even offered to contribute to the expense of the party. My boss at the time came across as being very conservative and his approval was very surprising.

The big day arrived and with everyone contributing we had a potluck of dishes from around the world. Bob was the center of attention and happier than I had ever seen him. We had kept the event low key because despite my bosses approval I did not thing senior management would have been happy about the day's entertainment.

The stripper was scheduled for two PM and as zero hour approached I was horrified to find a steady stream of visitors finding their way to the back of our storage room. Apparently word had spread through out the building and before I could protest the crowd was standing room only. To my surprise even senior management was represented by several of the buildings vice-presidents.

With all the mucky-mucks around I saw my career slowly swirling down a porcelain bowl. When the stripper arrived I could not bear to look and I kept to the back of the crowd. I wanted to have a clear get away if things went wrong.

The stripper provided her own music and without much fanfare began her performance. Everyone was clapping along with the music and having a good time. Bob was mesmerized and for a few moments he sat in stunned silence. Than much to my horror he stood up and began dancing with the girl. He followed her as she moved around the group.

Just when I thought things could not get worse they did. When the stripper removed her shirt Bob decided he would play along and so off came his shirt. I just about died. Any moment I expected to here her scream because Bob had grabbed her but my fears were misplaced. The girl knew what she was doing. She removed a t-shirt from her bag and placed it on Bob and than she lead him back to his chair. She explained that the show was for him but that she could only continue if he remained seated.

After that the rest of her presentation went smoothly. To my utter amazement none of the visitors from above complained and a good time was had by all.

To this day though I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?