The Grass is Rarely Greener

Once many years ago she had found herself warm and safe in the arms of love. Her life was like a romance novel. Her friends found the whole thing sickening. All she ever talked about was him.

How handsome he was.
How romantic he was.
How much she loved him.
How no man could ever replace him in her heart.

That is until one day she stumbled across an irritating little thing called doubt.

She was at the gym on a stair master climbing what felt like the foothills of Everest. She turned to her left and saw him.

He was not handsomer than her husband.

There was though something about him, something she could not quite put her finger on. She pretended to ignore him but she studied him out of the corner of her eye.

She watched him climb. Lost in a musical world being pumped in to his head by his walkman. There was just a glimmer of a smile on his lips and a bit of mischief in his eyes. She glanced down at the floor and when she turned back to him he was gone.

At home that evening she found herself tossing and turning unable to escape into sleep. She watched her husband sleep and tried to understand how a stranger on a stair climber could plant a seed of doubt into an otherwise perfect marriage.

The next day she returned to the gym with a bit of a bounce in her step. She found herself anticipating his arrival and wondering if she would have the nerve to say hello.

She was disappointed to find that he was not anywhere in the gym. She waited long past her normal quitting time but he never showed. After showering she headed next door to Starbucks to drown her disappointment in a double latte.

Lost in a daydream she almost missed his request. He asked to sit with her and she said yes with a trembling lilt to her voice.

It seemed from the first moment like that their meeting had been preordained by the gods. They laughed and talked for hours and without second guessing herself she soon found herself lost in his arms behind the doors of room thirteen at the local no tell motel.

She expected that when she drove away she would feel guilty about what she had done but surprisingly guilt never entered the picture.

He was everything her husband wasn't.

Where her husband was cautious he threw caution to the wind.
Where her husband was gentle he was passionate.
Where her husband was predictable he lived life by the moment.
Where her husband was careful there was a sense of danger about him.
Where her husband was a minivan he was a Ferrari.

Before long he asked her to leave her husband and live with him.

Without thought for her future she gave up her past and joined him in the present.

From a divorce that left a small but ignored voice whispering why in the back of her mind. She found herself in Vegas for a quick wedding and a new life.

Every moment was a moment from a fairy tale at least at first but she soon learned what was meant by the words: "The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence."

Where her ex was steady her new husband jumped from career to career.
Where her ex was tender her new husband was rough.
Where her ex was reliable her new husband was always disappearing.
Where her ex was generous to a fault her new husband was a penny pincher and greedy to boot.
Where her ex loved her unconditionally her new husband was soon fooling around.

She wanted to leave but she had nowhere to go. No family and friends that had warned her that her new husband was too good to be true.

One night she drove by her old house intending to apologize to her ex for her stupidity. Who knows she thought maybe we could start again.

Her dreams were shattered when she saw him walking out of their house with a new woman who was obviously his wife and who was obviously carrying his child. He had a smile on his face and eyes only for his new bride.

As they drove away in their minivan she saw that someone else was living the life she could have had if she had only had faith in his love for her. If she had only seen that steady and patient were important qualities in a husband.

She watched until her ex and his new life disappeared into the glare of the setting sun. Never noticing the tears that fell like rain onto the silk of her new blouse.