Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Lungs In Crisis Day Seven Hundred and Whatever

All evidence to the contrary the throne has not been abdicated, ignored briefly, but not abdicated.

For the past ten days or so I have been dealing with several respitory infections that have left me more wiped out than usual.

Anyone who is more than a casual visitor may remember that I have been dealing with a variety of health issues related to the respitory system since Easter of 2003. For the most part I have been able to maintain my writing and posting through out the various instances of ill health. For whatever reason this time was different and I was left with barely enough get up and go to move from the bed to the couch and back to the bed. It seemed that the few bones of creativity that I possess abandoned ship leaving me to fend for myself.

Through out the last two years I have also been dealing with severe anxiety issues for which I was taking Paxil and than Paxil CR. Recently I reached the max on dosage for Paxil and it was no longer effective. My doctor switched me to Zoloft which appears to have been a big mistake.

While with Paxil the anxiety never went completely away I was on the whole comfortable within my own skin. Since beginning Zoloft I am not only having more anxiety attacks but have come to the realization that all of these health issues have left me rather depressed.

It appears that beside dealing with anxiety Paxil was maintaining a certain mood level. I would feel down once in awhile about all the health issues but never depressed. Since leaving Paxil behind however, I have felt depressed most every day.

Long story short, between the respitory problems, the anxiety and the depression maintaining Murmur's over the last few weeks has felt like an insurmountable task.

That being said I have come to the realization that maintaining Murmur's has a certain carthetic effect that should not be ignored. So over the next week or so I am going to try and get back in the saddle and begin again to post on a regular basis.

What form those posts will take is not yet clear to me. Not feeling overly creative I am not sure how much poetry/stories will appear for now. Only time will tell I guess.

Thanks for visiting.

1 comment:

Paxil Lawyers said...

This is the problem with antidepressants, they just keep the depression at bay, it does not treat the cause of depression. So, if you stop taking the meds, then you're bound to be depressed again. Patients are bound to be dependent on medication. Knowing it's side effects, I don't think being hooked with antidepressants is such a good idea. It is best to go on psychotherapy or "talk therapy" too.