Never Been.........Until

A year ago the 15th of April on the advice of an old blogger buddy I contacted the Mayo Clinic/Scottsdale Campus regarding my ongoing respitory issues. At the time I was informed that I would be put on a waiting list and that someone would contact me when my name came up.

I figured if was lucky, maybe a month or two would pass before I heard from them.

Of course I have never been lucky. Never win raffles. Never wind drawings. Never won the lottery.

After three months with no phone call the whole Mayo Clinic idea soon slipped into the background noise of life eventually to be forgotten.

Imagine my surprise than when last week a phone call was received from the Mayo Clinic. Seems I was not forgotten afterall. Only that there are quite a few people like myself with long term respitory issues.

Bottom line is that I have my appointment on May 10th. Since Scottsdale is five hours highway time away I will be driving in on the 9th.

My stay could be short as a day or as long as several weeks. All depends on the initial testing.

Momdate 3.29.06

Been away from the throne for the better part of a week. Took a quick jaunt across the desert to visit mom in her Bullhead home.

Overall she is doing well. The various meds have improved her red blood cell count and she is beginning to have more energy. Her appetite was little better this visit as I actually witnessed her eating more than one meal.

The cancer is still limited to her bones. A recent scan showed that all of her organs are clear of the disease.

Her heart continues to be a concern. The inflammation is under control but the meds will not last forever.

Mom insists that the cancer does not worry her at all that it is her heart that will do her in.

Her attitude is good. In all honesty she is dealing with her own mortality better than I or my siblings are. I asked her how come she was always upbeat with the grim reaper somewhere in the neighborhood. She actually laughed at me and told me that she could either live and enjoy her remaining time or worry and not. She chose to live.

God bless her.

waiting room

poor fluorescent lighting
casts a pallor of doom
through out the lab
one could almost picture
igor hissing a yes master
passing you in the hall
patients slump in worn furniture
sagging with age
smothered in fabrics
recovered from dumpsters
behind the remnant store
windowless
there is a sense of seperation
as the minutes pass
the real world slips into
mythology
the waiting room
become the ying and the yang
the alpha and omega
the beginning and the end
a timeless stretch
of linear space
dimensionless existance
the only reality
the holiest of all grails
a name called
out of the darkness
another one
chosen by the most high
allowed to escape
the purgatory
of the waiting room

silent addiction

in the back of the closet
on an old wire hanger
hung the coat
his father had left behind
nothing fancy
brown leather
sweat stained, worn
buttons made
of simulated deer horn
it hung there for years
a painful reminder
of all that had been lost
when the sirens call
of the corner bar
became unresistable
and he crawled
into the wasteland
a barren place
where scattered bones
were a silent reminder
of all he had sacrificed
at the altar
of addiction

swamp night

quicksand encrusted red canvas shoes
new moon hidden beneath the moss
bullfrog throwing back tequila shooters
mermaid tattoo on his back leg
an old 45 skips rope in the corner
where several rattlers shed their skin
slim whitman's old bandana
covers the log where the termites dance
several well worn firestones
serve as nurserys for the mosquito young
entertained by an old black bear
whispering stories that frighten the young
about a blonde haired monster
with large white teeth
who he swears he once saw
broke the furniture, ate the food
and slept in his childhood bed
of course no one belives him
he has a scar on his head
where a hunter once took a shot at him
and they know he is a little soft
the larvae settle in for the night
to the sound of a cricket song
interspersed with a gentle roar
from the giant on the ground.......

squirrel's know nothing

squirrel's know nothing
about traffic jams
one way streets
traffice lights
or parking fines

squirrel's know nothing
about utility bills
satellite dishes
cellular phones
or the internet

squirrel's know nothing
about household chores
backed up plumbing
piles of laundry
or carpet stains

squirrel's know nothing
about engagement rings
wedding rings
no fault divorces
or child support

squirrel's know nothing
about anxiety
lung cancer
kidney failure
or heart attacks

squirrel's know nothing
about global warming
the greenhouse effect
air pollution
or mass extinction

squirrel's know
about the coming winter
hording nuts
blending with nature
and living in peace

maybe the squirrel's
know something after all

shores of compromise

an emotional tattoo
burned into the tissue
of a warm and loving heart
love is a bitter reminder
of failed expectations
of fairy tales passed
from the dying breath
of one generation to the next
love is all you need
love will keep us together
love makes the world go round
legends built upon the bones
of the broken hearted
love is not the retirement party
a gold watch, a handshake
and goodbye
love is the application
love is the interview
a career chosen
a path explored
a shared vision
of a lifetimes journey
not upon a golden street
or upon the calmest seas
but one upon which
the roads are unpaved
one way
with ten thousand foot drops
for those who travel unawares
one upon which
the seas are fraught
with hurricanes
and sixty foot waves
love is a journey
on which survival depends
not on how many
i love you's
are exchanged
but on the compromise
and sharing
that make up a life
where each is ready
to give there all
to share the bitterness
to share the joy
found at journey's end
when two old souls
in faded wooden rockers
clutching trembling hands
can look upon the sunset
with pride
built upon accomplishment
with eyes
burning bright
whispering
i love you now as i did
on the day we said i do
but today i like you even more.......