My First Cocktail

1962. I was two years old. We had just moved into a two bedroom rental. My mother, was painting and cleaning and chasing me around the house trying to keep me out of trouble. My father was working and drinking, drinking and working which is about all he ever did.

To keep me occupied my mother gave me a spilly cup filled with orange juice. I happily toddled around exploring my new surroundings. In a corner of the yard I found an old jar with a lid on it. I took the jar and the lid and returned to the porch. Some small part of my mind must have remembered watching my father mix drinks because I managed to remove the lid from the jar and the lid from my spilly cup. I mixed the contents and replaced the lid of the spilly cup.

Of course, after mixing my first drink I had to try it, which is where the trouble began. I had chosen to mix my oj with ant poison....What did I know I was only two. My guardian angel must have been paying extra special attention that day. Just as I slurped down the last of my cocktail, my mother came to check on me and realized what I had done. She grabbed and ran to the car, a convertible Cadillac, she left me there and ran in the house for her purse and keys.

What she failed to realize was that the keys were in the ignition. While she searched the house for them I was busy playing with my new rattle. Looking out the window, she saw me with the keys and came running for the car; just as I through the keys in the ivy. She franticly searched for them but they were gone.

So she grabbed me from the car and began running down the street in the general direction of the hospital. I cannot imagine what she was feeling by this point but I am sure that I had scared the shit out of her. My guardian angel must have still had his or her hand on me because she had barely run for a block when two teenagers pulled up and asked her if she needed help. She explained the situation and they got us to the hospital in record time.

There my stomach was pumped and I was placed in ICU for two days before I was sent home. Somehow though I managed to survive without any permanent damage. At least none that I know of.