Nana Part 2

Nana Part 1 was posted February 24th of this year.

In December she lost her independence. The change was gradual but soon her world had been reduced to her yard and the six rooms of her house.

The first sign of the coming loss was difficulty in finding her way home. After her weekly doctors appointment she called Dial-A-Ride for a ride home. Except once they were underway she could no longer remember where she lived. To embarrassed to ask for help she panicked and had the driver leave her off at Fifth and Duarte, which was a good mile from her home. She attempted to walk but could not remember in which direction she lived. Fortunately for her a friend happened by and offered her a ride.

The second sign came when she found herself away from home with no recollection of having left. One Tuesday morning she walked to her church apparently intent on attending mass. When control was returned to her, she found herself sitting in her usual pew, in an empty church wearing only her nightgown and bedroom slippers. Her grandson was by her side asking her if everything was OK. He took her by the arm and gently led her to the car.

The final sign came when locked gates were installed on her property and a deadbolt, she was unable to reach, was installed on the front door. In her more coherent moments she acknowledged that for her safety it was necessary. In her less coherent moments she found herself screaming at her daughter and her grandchildren using words she had never spoken aloud in her long life.

Her fear at times became so dominant that she would scream anything that came into her mind. One evening when her grandson was preparing her dinner she forgot what he was doing. When he picked up a knife, she began screaming. He attempted to calm her but she screamed even louder accusing him of trying to kill her. Before she knew it the sheriff was at her front door inquiring about her safety. Having forgotten about her screaming she had no idea why they were there. It took an hour and a phone call to her daughter to convince them that everything was OK.

In December when she went to bed she rarely if ever said her prayers. For the most part she did not remember how to pray or even remember her who God was. When she did remember God she found herself blaming Him for condition. After a lifetime of childlike faith she concluded that God was cruel and unjust and unworthy of her devotion. She embraced her doubt and refused to acknowledge his existence.