If (with apologies to David Gates)

July 1980 found me in love or at least I believed I was.

We had met the previous Thanksgiving over a game of Spoons. I had been sitting comfortably at home lingering over a slice of one of my mothers perfectly baked Pumpkin Pies when the phone rang. My presence was requested for a night of cards with several friends. Reluctantly I pushed myself away from the table and set off on a remarkable journey.

I was the last one to arrive and before I could say hello I found myself in the last remaining chair waiting for the cards to be dealt. Looking up I was immediately captured by a pair of the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, I am pretty sure that there was a face that went with them but I could not get past the eyes. They glowed with a warmth that was almost physical and when their owner laughed they shined brighter than a harvest moon.

We were finally introduced and much to my dismay it turned out that she was only visiting for the Thanksgiving weekend and would be returning home on Sunday. Cards were played, hands were dealt, and people won and people lost but the only memory I have of the evening was meeting her.

She was staying with my best friend so I was able to spend most of the weekend with her. Sunday came before I knew it and as we said our goodbyes we promised to write.

Our paths next crossed most disastrously over the New Years holiday. She came back for a visit hoping to see me again. A group of us were planning to spend New Year's Eve on the Rose Parade route. All signs pointed to a fantastic night when without warning all of the omens went south.

Apparently she was not the only one who had planned to spend New Years with yours truly. Two other girls that I had dated off and on over the past year were there. So what did I do? Did I follow my heart and spend the evening by her side? Of course not, I did what every twenty-one year old male would do. I let ego and hormones take over and ended up falling for someone whom I had just met and I ignored everyone else including her.

Fortunately she was much more mature than I was and over the next few months we spoke over the phone and through many letters and she did eventually forgive me.

As spring waned and summer appeared on the horizon I flew to her hometown to visit her and her family. She gave me the nickel tour and we talked through the night. We discussed love and marriage and again her maturity saved me from my lack of, she explained that while we did love each other it was much to soon to talk about a permanent relationship.

Summer arrived and she came back to California for a visit. My grandmother offered her spare bedroom, which allowed for a longer visit.

We spent a lot of time at the beach. We went to the Long Beach Arena and saw the Eagles in concert, which as it turned out was their last before their first breakup.
We grew closer and spent many hours talking about our dreams and our futures. While I was already working she had just graduated from high school and was narrowing her choice of colleges. Life was beautiful.

The 4th of July found us roaming the streets of Disneyland with thousands of other celebrants. Haunted Houses were explored and the Caribbean was sailed once again. We chased each other around Tom Sawyers Island until we collapsed from laughing so hard.

Nine o'clock found us sitting above the entrance of Space Mountain waiting for the fireworks to begin. A band was playing a cover of "If" by Bread. As we listened to the lyrics our mood became less playful and a bit more serious.

She looked at me and I could feel her eyes capture my soul. She whispered that there was no "If" about it that she had everything she had ever wanted right here and she gently kissed my lips just as the fireworks filled the sky.

Unfortunately most fairy tales in there original telling did not have a happy ending neither does this one.

At the end of the summer she chose to move to Los Angeles so she could attend USC. She said that one of the deciding factors for her was the proximity of the campus to me.

Before school started she came out for new student orientation and once her obligations were completed we had a chance to talk. Or should I say she talked and I failed to listen.

She explained that being eighteen and on her own for the first time that she needed some space. Not because she did not love me. Not because she had a burning desire to date someone else. It was lust because she wanted to enjoy campus and dorm life a bit without having to worry about relationship maintenance.

Of course being the clod in the relationship I translated everything she said into she no longer loves me. So as college life began for her I allowed us to drift apart. I no longer called and I no longer wrote. In my self satisfied way I assumed it was what she wanted and I never looked back.

Until..

After quite a bit of water had passed beneath the proverbial bridge we somehow ended up at Dodger stadium together. We watched the game and as corny as it sounds it was just like old times.

Of course old times are old for a reason because you can never go back only forward. The end of the game found us standing outside of her car saying goodnight. She smiled and her eyes were just as beautiful as they were on the day we met.

Before climbing into her car she looked at me and said I chose USC to be close to you. If you had just been a little bit more patient both of our futures might have been different. A quick hug and kiss on the cheek later she climbed into her car and drove out of my life for good.

If

Written by: David Gates and Bread

If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
The you I've come to know
If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you
You're all that's left me to
And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away