Life Changes

Midnight. With no moon, the night sky black and filled with millions of twinkling lights. Galaxies flicker in the solar wind.

Mystic Park glowed with light reflected from the first winters snow. Empty now, the park was peaceful however, sled tracks, snowmen and snow forts provided the story for the day just finished.

From the street passerbys couldnot see the shivering figure seated on a bench near the rocket slide that glistened with the evenings frost.

Upon taking a closer look one would see a woman of indeterminate age, head buried in her hands, body racked by a series of sobs. Silently she cried alone.

What brought her to this point in her life?

Why was she alone, in the park crying tears of despair?

Invisible to human eyes an angel sat beside her. Angelic hands tried in vain to calm her inner turmoil. Angelic eyes reflected pain long buried in the woman’s soul. Angelic thoughts turned to the woman’s memories in hopes of find an answer to her prayer.

She was depressed but not suicidal. She was stressed beyond belief.

Events from her past seemed to be on fast-forward as they passed before her angel’s eyes.

There was a birthday party, probably her fifth when she received a bicycle and her first scar when she fell off said bike.

Years came and went brief moments in the eyes of God. Her tenth year or was it her eleventh when her grandmother left this mortal coil. A hard lesson about the fragility of life was learned.

An angelic smile tainted with concern passed briefly across the angels face as the life review showed her becoming a young woman. Tutoring younger students in reading was never a chore. She loved the smell of books and the look of astonishment in a child’s eyes after soloing through their first book.

A frown as the years of her brother’s illness were reviewed recalling the pain and helplessness she felt as he bravely endured one treatment after another. He never quit. He never surrendered. She used to watch movies with him late into the night. Laughing at old forgotten comedies or secretly drying her eyes when something in a film touched her soul. She held him on the night he drew his final breath and she gasped as his spirit passed through her on the road to another adventure.

A look of angelic pride appeared as she moved out into the world. Eyes open to all that was around her. Not perfect but always attempting what was right. Work was second nature to her and she thrived. She climbed the corporate ladder smiling and offering assistance as her skills developed.

A bit of angelic sadness could be seen as the first hiccup of her career reared its hideous head. Innocent and trusting she gave her best and expected the same from her co-workers. So focused on doing the job she never saw the proverbial knife in the back coming, one minute she was on the fast track the next there were some questions that needed to be considered before she ascended to the next level. If that was not enough she found herself knee deep in concontraversy due to some Neanderthals idea of office footsy. He grabbed she complained. The classic he said, she said followed and to her dismay she found out how many friends she really had when cold shoulders were received from so many faulting her for lodging a complaint.

Angelic tears formed when the stress began to take an ever-greater toll on her health. Panic attacks, medication and counseling followed. Aches and pains appeared with no medical cause. As her condition became more debilitating her frustration grew in leaps and bounds. No cause could be determined and her so-called doctors were dispensing pills like candy from a Pez dispenser. Her condition worsened to the point that she had to give up her position and accept disability. Finally one doctor was able to provide a glimmer of sanity with a diagnosis, allowing her to at least investigate treatments.

Angelic eyes filled with pride, as this young woman dealt with illness in the only way she knew, by refusing to surrender. Work was now out of the question, however she could help her family and friends. Therapy became her support. Dealing with illness, stress and trauma were not necessarily new to her but learning how to deal with them was.

Review ended and an angelic mind pondered the pieces of the puzzle.

As always though the woman was one step ahead as the angel could clearly see her sobbing slowed and her thought process cleared.

She had the tools. She had the skills. What she lacked was a tiny bit of selfishness.

Her therapist had been trying to convince her of a need for a bit of healthy selfishness. He was constantly telling her that to properly care for others one must take care of ones self.

Neglecting her needs had become second nature. Her mother needed her. Her father needed her. They lived on opposite sides of town, which meant a lot of back and forth. Friends were always seeking help and/or advice. Her heart filled with warmth when she gave but something was missing.

The giving back.

For all the help and care she offered little was reflected back her way. People were busy. Her mother was not well. Her father did not seem to have the time. She gave till it literally hurt but so few gave back to her.

She was reminded of an old “Charlie Brown” comic strip in which Snoopy is having a bad dream and Charlie Brown goes out to comfort him. The last panel found Charlie Brown back in bed unable to sleep with a caption that read “who comforts the comforter”.

With angelic arms, unbeknownst to her, providing shelter and warmth she began to pull herself together. Her comforting without comfort days were going to be left behind not unlike the toys of her childhood.

Life changes and it was about time for her to change she thought. Easy it will not be. She could hear her mother already. Complaining about her selfishness if she took some time for her self. Her father would give her the cold shoulder. Her friend’s well she guessed now she would find out who her real friends were.

As she walked home an angelic presence proudly hovered above her offering comfort and glowing with angelic pride.