On the Rocks (revisited)

There was nothing left to say. No roads less traveled. He left his ring in her favorite martini glass sitting on the dusty bar. The one place they both knew she would find it.

She had always been a social drinker. Friday nights, sometimes Saturday brunch with the girls, a martini, a bloody mary, maybe a margarita or two. While he the son of dysfunctional alcoholics rarely if ever found himself with a drink in his hand. He had done a spot of reading on the subject finding out that alcoholism was statistically higher in the second generation of an alcoholic family. While he accepted that not all statistics were factual he was not willing to risk his family or his liver on them being wrong.

Hindsight found that there was not one particular event or moment that pushed her over the edge from social drinker to alcoholic. Loneliness, a miscarriage, her mothers' cancer fight any or all of the above could have been the straw that stirred the drink. In her eyes she was fine. She handled the booze, he was jealous because she knew how to have a good time and he didn't.

Counseling was tried but it was a spectacular failure. She was open-minded until her drinking became the topic on the table. When the subject was broached, the damn broke, and she ran from the room tears streaming down her face.

He did not hear from her until three that morning when she called from jail. Her car had wrapped itself around a telephone pole on the way home from the pub. Fortunately no one was hurt. He bailed her out and she refused to discuss the issue with him. As far as she was concerned the one with the drinking problem was him, because he had a problem with her drinking.

The marriage disintegrated from there. He began sleeping on the couch, not so much to avoid her, but to avoid being woken up by her when she stumbled into bed. They rarely spoke. They became islands occupying the same current, sharing sand but little else. He knew it was over. Nothing would change until she put down the bottle and he knew from experience that she was unable and unwilling.

He remembered the clear-eyed beauty he had married. How his love for her had seared his soul. Now his soul was choking on the damp embers of those forgotten flames. There were no tears left to cry. No words left to say. So he removed his ring and placed it in the empty glass. The symbolism of his actions saying more than words ever would. He picked up his suitcase and walked out the door without a backward look.

Leaving her on the rocks.

First published 3/9/04