Armageddon

ARMAGEDDON!!!

Armageddon had come to Southern California. A low-pressure system is stalled over the Pacific Ocean and is expected, "GASP", to bring rain to Los Angeles for the next three to four days.

I know, I know, those of you who live where there are real weather concerns fail to see the significance of this announcement. You may be digging yourself out from a blizzard. The river may be rising and the authorities may at this moment be imploring you to leave for higher ground. There may even be a tornado or a hurricane heading your way.

But this is Southern California the land of the Beach Boys, Baywatch and fun in the sun. People who live here pay their taxes expecting to see the sun 365 days per year. If there is even a threat of rain civilization as we know it comes to a standstill.

First of all every TV station goes on immediate storm watch. They break out their doplar radars and in hushed but serious tones announce that they are on STORM WATCH 2004. Even a single cloud is treated as if it were the precursor to the great flood. Cameramen and reporters are sent to locations through out the southland to report on the "storm". They have their heavy duty rain gear on even before the storm as arrived.

When and if a raindrop actually comes into contact with the ground the civilians freak out. Most of the drivers suddenly suffer a bad case of amnesia and forget how to drive. (Of course if you have ever driven here most drivers probably have very little skills to forget.) The freeways that surround the city become deadlocked. Nothing moves. Brake lights can be seen for miles. Commutes which normally take forty-five minutes take three-hours.

Basically life here becomes ugly, real ugly. Personally I would hate to see what would happen if a giant hand came out of the sky, picked up some Southern California natives and deposited them in the middle of New York City in the middle of a blizzard. They would probably curl up into little balls, put their thumbs in their mouths and cry for their mommies.