Tears in the Sand

She stood at the cities border her back to all she had ever known or loved. Before her lay a journey of unspeakable hardship and pain, a journey that would either break her or like Moses before her she would emerge from the harsh desert cleansed by God's furnace.

She thought about the life she was leaving behind. A small flat, where on warm nights her parents would often find her stretched out on a blanket. A smile on her face as she lost herself in the wonders of the universe and the many gifts of God's creation.

Her parents were gone now. No ones fault. She found herself avoiding the roof. In her eyes the universe held no more wonders. A god who could randomly remove her parents from her life was not a god she chose to believe in. After the funeral she boxed all of the holy books and religious artifacts and placed them in the back of the storeroom.

Many months passed but for her time had stopped. Books lay scattered about her room unread. Knocks on the door went unanswered. When she did leave the flat it was for the bare necessities: bread, fruit, canned goods and tea.

Old friends and new attempted to pass through the doorway into her inner sanctum but they were turned away one and all. Without realizing it she had begun to confuse independence with pride. Even the most independent of souls needs to lean on someone sometime. However, her pride would not allow her to see her need for friends as a virtue but clung to the belief that to lean on someone was to show weakness.

So now she stood with her back to the city she once loved and began a journey into desolation in search of salvation.

Her plan was simple her against the scorching sands of the desert. The heat and sandstorms would either kill her or heal her. On her back she carried to water skins, dates and hard bread. She had a rough map that purported to show the locations of several oasis's but who knew anything of its accuracy.

She set out at dusk figuring she could walk further with less water if she traveled by night and slept by day. Before long the walls of her small city were lost to the horizon and she found herself truly alone for the first time. For miles in every direction was empty desert, behind her barely visible in the darkness were her footprints. Glistening in the moonlight from the many tears that escaped as she roamed the desolate wilderness. Before her lay empty sand smooth and flat awaiting her footsteps.

By the third day she began to lose track of how many days she had been walking. The calendar of her old world lost its importance as she began to rely on the sun and moon as her timepieces.

Every other day or so she would stumble across a small oasis, little more than a mud hole with a few date palms taking advantage of what moisture there was. Here she would wash the desert sand from her feet and allow herself a few extra hours of rest before continuing her journey.

No matter how far she traveled she found she still had tears to cry. She cried for her parents, for forgotten friends and for lost opportunities. She found herself crying in her sleep for worlds she had never known and beings she had never seen.

Finally there came a day where she could cry no more. The bitterness, the sadness, the anger, the envy all of it had been washed from her soul.

Just before sunrise she came across a true oasis. Beautiful trees, a large pool of fresh water everything a weary traveler could want. She dropped her pack and jumped in the water soaking the grime from her skin and the last bits of darkness from her soul.

When she emerged she lie down in the tall grass and fell asleep.

She awoke to the sound of goats rustling in the grass and drinking from the pool. Nearby sitting on a large flat rock sat an old man. He had a small fire going. He looked up and spotted her.

"Come join me young one," his lips barely moved when he spoke but his voice was crisp and clear.

He began asking her questions about her travels where she had been and where she planned to go. He told her things about herself that she did not even know. His gentle eyes looked into her heart and soul and her spirit was naked before him.

He began to softly speak: "Young one you have learned and accomplished much on your journey. In the beginning you looked deep into yourself and found yourself wanting. So you set out on your own to find what was missing. You traveled across a desert that strikes fear in grown men and yet you survived. Along the way you discarded that which was needed no more: anger, selfishness, bitterness, sorrow, aloofness and stubbornness. Each tear you cried washed these traits from your soul. However my daughter you made this journey harder on yourself than necessary. Your friends and family would have held you as you cried and your tears washed these traits from your soul. Look back my daughter look at the footprints you have left behind. Each tear has brought to life a solitary rose. Roses are beautiful alone but in a bouquet their beauty knows no boundaries. You belong in a bouquet of friends and family my daughter each rose is important to the bouquet and now it is time for you to rejoin your bouquet."

She sat in silence for many hours pondering the words of the goat herder. She drifted off into a dreamless sleep. She awoke feeling refreshed, she stretched and…..

Opened her eyes finding herself not in the desert but in her own bed. On her bedside table was a bouquet of the most exquisite roses she had ever seen. She slowly sat up and looked around her something was different. What she wasn't sure but something. She stood up from her bed just as the door to her room opened….

without thinking she flew into the arms of her parents crying tears of joy.